Some days at work it's like I just can't get ahead. None of my daily goals are met because new requests come up or higher priorities push other things aside. I tend to stay fairly calm about it all on the outside but sometimes I feel pretty flustered on the inside. I start on several things, dabble around, feel stuck, make tea, eat lots of snacks, chat with my neighbours, plug away a little more.
Then there are days at work where everything gets done - like I've come across a magical send button that finishes everything off in one fell swoop. I'm an efficient, focused machine. I look over the work I did earlier in the week - the stuff I thought wasn't productive enough or very good - and it's actually great and I just have to cross a few t's and dot a couple i's. A little here, a little there, and it's done-zo. Everything gets crossed off my to do list and I can actually sit calmly and plan out my next tasks and strategize a little.
On these productive days, I look at yesterday and think to myself, "Silly you. You thought you wouldn't finish it all and now look. You were overwhelmed... but it wasn't so hard in the end, now was it?"
I think about Young House Love and their DIY mantra: "the middle makes no sense."
Then I look at Benny and his PhD process. He's working hard and plugging away and some days he feels like he's in dissertation up to his ears... or way over his head.
And in the end, big projects get done, dreams are realized, goals met... churches planted, homes built, books written, businesses successful, people unlocked, families expanded, children raised...
This messy middle business - it's life, isn't it? It's the heart of process and journey. I want to be confident, I want to keep at things when it's hard-going. I want to enjoy it all.