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Monday, November 26, 2012

Thankful for this gift

We made our pregnancy announcement over facebook last week!  And ever since I’ve been thinking of how to blog about it.  I feel like I’ve been open about this journey through this blog, so I want to continue in that openness. 

I was pregnant when I wrote the Rachel post… My initial reaction when I found out I was pregnant (besides pure bliss) was that I wanted to remember where I had been; particularly, to remember the miracle, the strength, and women who are in that place still… or who have some sort of heartache.

But I'm also very thankful, so here's my thanksgiving Monday:

I’m thankful for Benny.  He is faith-filled and wise and encouraging.  He knows how to follow your peace instead of running ahead with your own pace or ideas of how things should be going.  He knew it wasn’t time to go to a fertility clinic, even though in the natural it seemed like the logical timing.  He returned to what we felt God was telling us about a second baby and about that timing and reminded me of those words.

I’m thankful for Isaac and the reminder that children are a gift from the Lord.  They are such miracles, every one of them.

I’m thankful for ways that God provided for me to learn to be more open.  Blogging was one way.  Then, being open on this blog was the starting point for a couple friendships to develop into such a source of strength.  This past weekend we had a conference for our church and one of the themes was walking this life journey together.  Because you can’t walk it alone.  And that’s something the Lord grew in me through this time… a greater depth and appreciation for relationship. 

I’m thankful for other women who were open with me about their journeys with fertility challenges, adoption paths, miscarriages and losses.  Because again, there’s strength in that shared place.

I’m thankful for people who spoke faith and miracles into our family.  For the women who said they believed I would be pregnant before the end of the summer… and I was.  For prayers… there was power in those prayers.

I’m thankful for Jada, the naturopath.  She encouraged at the emotional level and provided tools at the practical level.  Just one visit and she turned out to be a gift from God.      

I’m thankful for lessons learned, like the power of hope and grace (grace for myself in particular).

I’m so thankful for this little life growing in me… for seeing that heartbeat on the ultrasound screen… for being able to think of baby names and to buy baby things and to think of baby stuff in general.  Because I’ve blocked that stuff for a while and it’s pretty freeing to think of it now.

And I was hesitant when we made the baby announcement… because, again, I want to remember women who are still in a difficult place when it comes to fertility or other pains and to be sensitive.  But Ben said, “We tell of His wonderful deeds,” and this is part of our story so may it be a source of hope and encouragement, of honesty and journeying together.   

Linking up to Ann's site:


2 comments:

Melissa said...

There are really no words... I'm crying right now as I read your post. So thankful. So very thankful.

:)

tinuviel said...

You linked up just ahead of me at Monday Multitudes today, and it blesses me to share your joy. May the Lord grant you a healthy, full-term pregnancy and child. May He turn your mourning into dancing yet at the same time provide opportunities to pass along the comfort He gave you in the waiting sorrows.