Sarah preached on Sunday. One thing she mentioned was disappointment. She said she doesn’t hear disappointment preached about much. I know why. It’s because disappointment sucks. Hope deferred… sucks. Anyway, it was oh so practical and wonderful and heart-wrenching at the same time.
I have been having a disappointing day once a month for a while because of you-know-what.
That day came again yesterday for me. My first reaction was to think up a new goal for the month: a house project, a writing goal, a craft... Something I couldn’t do if I was pregnant… spray paint anyone? I do this pretty much every month and it’s very helpful and I would highly recommend it… goals, that is. Keeping active, that is.
But as my mind raced, panicked, trying to cling to a new focus, grasp onto an excitement fix, to prevent cubicle crying (I was at work) - as I reached up to keep from tumbling down into a pit, grabbing at the edge, fingernails digging across the ground (dirt doesn’t make a good anchor) - I heard the Lord tell me (thanks to Sarah’s preaching) just to reach for Him... just to focus on Him.
What should I do, Lord? How can I cope? How can I breathe?
Just look to Jesus. That’s it. Just focus on Jesus. No reasoning, no logic, no grasping, no distracting. It’s all about Jesus.
Oh right, thanks Lord.