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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Temperature taking

I've written about emotions a couple times: here and here. .

My journey with my emotions has been quest-erly: I've been determined to find magical jewel answers (that usually don't exist), sorting through rough terrain, chopping down some old trees and thick snakey vines, gaining valuable aha practical lessons to pop into my rugged sachel along the way. The main search is figuring out how to have emotions yielded to the truths of who I am in Christ while at the same time feeling deeply and honestly. It's a common quest, eh.

Instead of shirking them like they can be ignored or bottling them up, I've found trying to understand my emotions leads to pretty sweet revelation. Is this a no-brainer for most? Like, asking myself why I'm feeling a certain way. I'm a little distanced from my feelings sometimes - maybe more than some women.  I've got a lot of them running through me but I don't take the time to think through why I'm acting a certain moody/grumpster way.

Okay, here's something fun. In trying to get pregnant a second time around, I've been tracking my basal body temperature (I stick the thermometer in my mouth, I'll have you all know). I did this when we were trying for Isaac too but I got a bit unhealthily obsessed so didn't keep it up regularly. Anyway, this time around I'm loving it because I get to enjoy the fascination and marvel of it all without feeling anxious. Woot.

I wanna say that every woman should do this because it's so cool but I think I enjoy it more than others might because I'm into schedules and patterns and routines... graphs and straight lines and numbers. But it's a great way to bring a new element of understanding to emotions. I love seeing how things affect my morning temperature - life changes, sleep patterns, stressors... as well as what stays remarkably constant. Sometimes I'll have a day where things feel a little "off", and, wouldn't you know, the next morning there will be a dip in my temperature, just to say, okay, nothing's wrong with you at all, your hormone levels changed a bit. I love that little biological explanation. It makes me feel oh so rational and sane. It gives me more power to understand I can control and give boundaries to these times.

There's something about gaining understanding and not trying to stifle stuff that we think is un-characterly or better left untouched.  It frees up your thinking - nothing's wrong with you so get on with your real life living.  

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