I've been following mama blog trails lately. You never stop at reading just one mama blog; the experience is like falling dominoes. One mama refers to another mama's blog and you follow it, only to discover another interesting link to click, opening up a whole other world of new networked mama blogs, and so on.
I've found there's an energy through sharing the personal difficult stuff of life in these mama blogs. There was Christy's post on Oliver's sweater, Casey Leigh being brave enough to share news of her pregnancy after a miscarriage, Ashley at Lil Blue Boo and her chemo treatments. Okay, these women are brave. Then Katie Bower posted on wanting to be pregnant already with her second and it was nice to relate. There were other mamas and disclosure of miscarriage, alcoholism, cancer, mental health struggles… All this intertwined in the lovely lighthearted details of a day in the life of a mama. And other mamas comment, pull together, comment, strengthen, comment, cry… it's a real mama community.
I've been testing these open waters in the blogosphere (and in real life, really). Not super consciously. Not very loudly. I mentioned, casually, my grandmother's Alzheimer's, which I never ever talk about, and then this week I was bold enough to mention wanting to be pg. I didn't share how long I've been off birth control or how long we've been "trying". I mentioned how I felt on my son's birthday, but avoided talking about how I feel each month when my Auntie F arrives. When I say something a little uncomfortably personal, just briefly, in one or two words, that's a big thing. It's a big release for me, and some folks don't realize it, because if it's in person I usually say such things with a smile on my face and a little giggle in my throat. The smile's genuine and so is the disclosure. The giggle's nerves.
Last night the lovely Christy sent me a facebook message in response to Isaac's birthday post. She totally encouraged me to the core. And I replied with a general, "thanks so much, you're the best" reply. Then after I sent it, I was like, why'd I do that, and I sent a P.S. follow-up telling her more details and personal specifics. 'Cuz I want to be an honest person. I want that fellowship.
Of course guarding your heart is important, but if you're quite good at guarding your heart consider this too:
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:19-20).
I know I'm talking about the blogging world. Does this verse still apply through wires and satellites and virtual-ness? Well, it's definitely true for in-person parallels. Messy heart exchanges aren't just about a therapeutic effect or the warm fuzzies. There's power that comes with agreement in Jesus' name. And sometimes that agreement doesn't have a let's-hold-hands-and-bow-our-heads appearance. The very presence of Jesus is in the midst of those vulnerable moments when we put ourselves out there in community.