I was at Isla's first birthday party on Saturday. It's actually her birthday today - Happy Birthday Isla! I found I was a bit preoccupied with Isaac's behaviour throughout the evening. He was standing on chairs. That was his thing. And it didn't matter how many times I got him to sit down, he just popped back up again. Then I told him that if he stood up, he would have to get off the chair. And that caused a bit of a stir. Then later on in the evening I had to take some crayons away from him and he went into a full-fledged revolt. I felt myself getting more embarrassed to have to tell him to sit down repeatedly, kind of sternly, and then more and more red as he wailed at the end of the evening.
Self-consciousness and parenting don't mix well together. You make your choices together as a couple and you follow through on them together and you don't worry about what other parents, or anyone for that matter, thinks or says. Done and done. I am so blessed to be in a community with many young families - playmates for Isaac, support for Ben and I. I feel that love.
I recently read Proverbs 31 in light of being a mama and it's helped quite a bit. I've also been thinking of what I'm like at home with Isaac when I'm comfortable and confident. That's a good reminder to know who I am as a mama anywhere I go.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her (Proverbs 31: 25-28).