One evening last week, Ben told me he had a gift for me. He had a twinge of hesitancy in his eyes. I was excited - I like gifts. He ran downstairs to grab it, and then passed it to me with fear and trembling. The title said, The Confident Woman. It was a Joyce Meyer devotional. Before a word could leave my mouth, he had an explanation (it was all prepared). Something about how he believes I am a confident woman already but he knows I need to grow in confidence to step out in some of the plans we have in store for our family over the next couple of years (plans that are secret to the online world, but not as secret if we chat in person). He was relieved when he saw my reaction was one of being thrilled instead of offended. I understood.
I know that I am a confident woman in some areas or contexts and greatly lacking in confidence in other spaces. The thing is, that doesn’t really matter at all. It's not about me, my weaknesses or strengths. It's all about Jesus. As I grow in intimacy with Jesus, He changes me day by day to meet the challenges and needs of the day so that I can be effective in showing who He is and what He's like (glorifying Him).
I'll need a new confidence for the next couple of years in my life, and since that's what I need, God will supply it. Actually, I need a new confidence every day. Fresh confidence, new grace, extra courage, specialized faith, eager hope, purer gentleness, lasting patience… the fresher, the better. Life in the Spirit wells up inside me and flows out from me, ever changing, always renewed.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen (Ephesians 3:20-21).