I've been thinking about hormones and emotions lately... I guess because I had an emotional weekend. And now that I'm on the other side of the burst of hormones, I'm wondering why I felt the ways I did. I wonder at the predictability of emotional times and why I can be emotional so routinely without somehow being able to change or get a better handle on this area of my life. Lesley Brock, following up on Toddy P., spoke on grace this past Sunday and how we don't need to beat ourselves up so much and that it's the Holy Spirit who matures us.
I've read Psalm 104 a few times in the last little while. I was thinking about emotions when I read it over again this morning. These verses (5-9) struck me:
You who laid the foundations of the earth,
So that it should not be moved forever,
You covered it with the deep as with a garment;
The waters stood above the mountains.
At Your rebuke they fled;
At the voice of Your thunder they hastened away.
They went up over the mountains;
They went down into the valleys,
To the place which You founded for them.
You have set a boundary that they may not pass over,
That they may not return to cover the earth.
I don't want to belittle these amazing verses and what they're really saying about God's sovereignty, but God spoke personally to me through them. Water can represent a few things in the Bible and I'm pretty sure one of those is not emotions, but when I read these verses I pictured my emotions. The verses recount God rebuking the waters to the places where they belonged. Even in their fleeing, the waters still flowed through the mountains (it's amazing that there are streams that flow on the mountains). And, of course, the waters flowed down into the valleys. Emotions can be up and down and that's okay...sometimes that's just the normal course of how our bodies work.
Looking back, over the weekend I didn't kill anyone with my emotions (that would have been Ben because he's the one closest to me... "anyone" really means Ben). I don't think I hurt Ben or scarred him either. Even though waters run through all the earth the Lord has created boundaries so they will never cover the whole earth again. We do that with emotions too... I know I have those boundaries and that self-control. Even though I may feel discouraged in this area sometimes, when I see myself in a more positive light, I know that I am stronger than I feel and that I have an order within myself.
Verse 5 says the foundations of the earth will not be moved forever. We don't have to be moved either - at my core, at the center of who I am, I know my roots are deep and I won't be shaken.
To sum it up: Our emotions may naturally be up and down and that's okay. We have boundaries for them so they don't overtake all of us. And in reality, when it all comes down to it, we're as immovable and secure as the mountains.